


Singing Silmarils Series

by Alassante (AliKat7)



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bad Puns, Dark Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 12:13:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliKat7/pseuds/Alassante
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three drabbles about three absolutely fabulous! gems</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reflections in the Deep

_A/N Thanks to Gwynnyd for her beta assistance. Tolkien owns all accept my demented mind._

Happy birthday Binka!! I hope you like it Binka-dinka-doo.

* * *

Feanor, mighty amongst the Firstborn, crafted me filled with the light of Telperion and Laurelin; hallowed by Varda.

 

Melkor, lusting for my radiance, stole me in the night. His prize treasure, I graced his iron crown.

 

Many covet me, thirsting for my light to quench their need. Elves died for me. I'm unique – irreplaceable - greatest of the three most perfect gems ever wrought by mind and hand. Wars were fought for me!

 

Now, could someone please explain to me why I am lying here at the bottom of the damn ocean, covered in barnacles, and surrounded by fish poop?


	2. After the Fall

 

_A/N_ _In my defense - people requested that I write the other two._

* * *

 

You'd think that gems that are 'alive, imperishable, and sacred' would be treated with more respect than we were. Things all started going downhill when Melkor dragged us out of Formenos with his creepy friend. I lost a lot of respect for him when he screamed like a girl over a spider. Seriously.

 

Then to stick us in his crown like he's Princess Barbie and we're his bling? At least there we were safe from the idiot spawn of Feanor. Talk about apples falling far from the tree!

 

Then because that one-handed nitwit thought he could fly, I'm…Eru knows where!


	3. Above it All

_'I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bright!'_

 

For so long I had to share the spotlight and glory with them. They often chided me that they were the true gems and I was only the spare. As if. Beren and Luthien picked me over them, because, after all, that beautiful Luthien was a snazzy dresser with excellent taste. But then all that mess with her son, Dior. Simply tragic. All because he had to be cocky and wear me in a necklace, flaunting me around. Of course, the Feanorians got all upset about it. They aren't known for being rational after all. Do you know how hard it is to wash blood off 'unknown material'? It is not as though Feanor left any washing instructions behind.

 

And then sometime later that drama queen Elwing had to go throw herself into the sea! Good thing the Valar realized I was best kept out of reach, sticking me on her husband's brow. Here I am sitting pretty on Vingilot in the skies. What is a gem to do?

 

As I look down upon the lesser two Silmarils, I only have two words for them.

 

Neener Neener.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I Feel Pretty Words by Stephen Sondheim from the musical West Side Story  
> Silmaril belongs to JRRT himself. I own nothing.


End file.
